Yes, Microsoft is delving deeper into the advertising world, where, they apparently, think that women blowing chunks is funny, and will give their product a top notch in the internet browsing market.

Just a little hint, Mircosoft, it won’t.

Basically, this ad, created by the same advertising agency who does ads for Burger King (If you ask me, the big head king person is kind of creepy), and a few other big name companies.

Here’s how the ad goes.

A woman (Let’s call her “Jane”) and a man (Let’s call him “Dick” because he really is one) are sitting at a coffee table.  Of course, we assume they’re married, or maybe, they’re just living togeth.  Jane wants to borrow Dick’s computer, and Dick willingly lets her.  After peeking at it for a few minutes, she discovers some, “sites”, that her husband has been presumably drooling over.  She then promptly vomits.  And not just a subtle dribble, this is like, major projectile vomiting.  Then, consenquently, her husband trips on the vomit and Jane vomits on him more.  Attractive.  A weird guy comes up on screen and says “Do you suffer from OMGIGP (Oh my God, I’m gonna puke)” He then conviently suggests that Dick should use InPrivate browsing (PORN MODE) on IE8.  Jane then starts flirting with the guy.

But seriously, this was a disgusting ad.  When I first watched this I was like, ewww….  This probably will cause many people around the world to say “OMGIGP” whilst watching the ad, causing them to puke on their computers, therefore, causing the computers to virtually vomit all over the Internet and we can all have a barf fest!  Fortuanatly for us, Microsoft decided to pull the ad.

Here’s the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB9fhjnJcB0

The Chinese Government, after probably hearing the loud “Damn” from it’s citizens, allowed themselves to tiptoe towards democracy by havin the option to uninstall the program, or for the CD containing the program to be bundled with the computer.  Even more recent, the Chinese Gov. decided to delay the mandate, which we still haven’t heard when it will be mandated on the computers, although, some companies have jumped the gun (Ahem, Sony), and already have begun shipping the computers, ironically with a disclaimer in it saying the program “Is against their beliefs, and is potentially dangerous to your computer and should be uninstalled promptly.”

The Green Dam software includes an image filter, text filter, and URL filter.  The image filter is supposed to block large areas of images that appear to look like human flesh, excluding faces.  Tests on the software showed that this was more efficient in blocking pork, than actual porn.   Yep, it filters the pork so you can get to your porn.  The text filter is supposed to block offensive phrases, and displays an error box.  The URL filter simply blocks unwanted sites, probably included very suggestive pictures of pork, while still letting you to get all the porn you want.

Although what I’ve said doesn’t put the software to be very bad, (After all, many parents have similar things), but some gaps and holes in the program could cause a “Green Damn!” from users.  Michigan University did a study on the filtering software, and discovered that it could be an agent for websites to take control of your computer, and steal private data, send you spam (Probably of pork), and let your computer to become a part of a botnet.  And what the Chinese Government says about this “Fix it!”.  How Communist.

Also, this software apparently blocks pictures with Garfield, Paris Hilton, and Johnny Depp.  I can see why they want to block Paris, but seriously, Garfield?  Maybe they’re just against cats.

Sources

http://www.reuters.com/article/technologyNews/idUSTRE55T26Y20090630?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0

http://www.cse.umich.edu/~jhalderm/pub/gd/

Anyways, on to the Zune News!

Microsoft announced that the Zune HD will carry the NVIDIA Tegra chip on June 19th. Apparently, the Zegra (As I like to call it, the Zune Tegra! Speaking of that, it kind of sounds like Zelda, and wouldn’t it be awesome if the Zune played Zelda? Except, Zune is MS, so it would probably only play Xbox games. And I still think all of the gaming companies need to come together an make an awesome combined gaming console. The WiiBoxStation!)

Apart from that tangent, Microsoft said that it was excited to carry the chip, as it is promising better battery life and performance than the current Zune. Thank god for better battery life. That’s one of my only complaints of my Zune 80. It gets sucky battery life. I was watching Jurassic Park III yesterday and after I was done, my Zune was drained! My other complaint with the Zune is that the wifi sucks. It’s really unuseful. Sure it has Marketplace, but I would at least like to see a browser! And the sharing feature is cool, but nobody on this earth has a Zune, so it pretty much renders that gone.

Basically, for you that don’t know about the Tegra, the Tegra is a very low power, high graphics mobile chip. NVIDIA claims the Tegra gets up to 600 (!!) hours of music playback and 10 hours of 720p HD video playback. Of course, that is only using CPU, so we’ll have to see what the battery life is when we have a display and graphics up and running, though even with that, we could see around 500 hours of music and possibly 8-ish hours of HD video. I’m still wondering what the normal video playback is though, because I hardly ever hook up my Zune to my TV. Maybe around 14 hours? Still, that battery life is pretty awesome for a portable media player. And, the whole chip only consumes .5 watts of power! =]

The Tegra has two main parts of the chip. The ARM-11 part, which handles the graphics and running of the OS, and the GeForce graphics chip, which handles the graphics of the games, video, etc. This is all contained in a thing about the size of a quarter! Another thing cool about the Tegra, is that it apparently can handle full fledged Flash! That would be nice, and would actually probably be a bigger selling point for me than the HD playback or radio.

In other Zune HD news, Neowin had a review with a “secret source” in Microsoft, saying that the Zune HD will come in 16/32 GB versions, with possibly a 64GB version. The 16 would be priced around 249-280. Ouch. Make it cheaper!  199 would be nice for a 16GB version, and 280 for a 32.  And possibly, 350 for a 64GB.  That would make the Zune HD much more appealing for the younger audience, as a cheaper alternative to the iPod Touch.

Sources:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13924_3-10269713-64.html?tag=mncol

http://www.neowin.net/news/main/09/06/25/interview-with-the-zune-source

iPhone!

Yes, I know.  I’m kind of a Microsoft fanboy.  But, I decided to try (!) to be unbiased and talk about what was wrapped up a couple of days ago.  WWDC.  Basically, this is a conference where Apple fanboys(girls) can go and drool over something that has already been in standard appliances, but Apple woos them saying it’s “New and improved!”.  (There goes my unbiasedness)

Here is my short version of what happened.  I will elaborate more in the post.

iPhones now go Ssssss.   The MacBook is now an endangered species.  iPhones also point North.  Get ready to cut your iPhone!.  And, do you like to play with your Snow Kitty?

iPhones, iPhones, iPhones.

Yes, all WWDC was about was…..the iPhone.

Apple announced at the conference that they released the OS 3.0 for the iPhone.   Basically, this OS upgrade brings the iPhone some basic features found in most basic phones.   Bluetooth (Not sure about that one), Voice Command (I hate voice command anyways), and Multimedia Messaging.  Seriously, these are “big improvements”?  ’Cmon Apple, you credit yourself with creating innovative technology, yet you still forget to include some of the most basic features?  Of course, in all defense of Apple, they did announce some pretty cool things.  Like the compass!   Yes, your iPhone can now point you in the right direction.  I think it’s pretty cool to have that in a phone, although I don’t see where that would be very useful.

In other iPhone WWDC news, Apple also announce a upgrade for the iPhone 3G.  The upgrade really only tacks a extra consonant on the end of the iPhone 3G name.  I wonder if they keep innovating and eventually we’ll have the whole alphabet behind the iPhone?  Just imagine:  The iPhone 3G qxzwertybvuinmlpoksdfjh!  That would be a mouthful.  I think the S is supposed to stand for speedy, with an maybe a hardware upgrade in the iPhone.   Maybe that S is a cryptic code like the “XP” in Windows XP.  No one knows what that stands for either.  If the iPhone did get a faster processor, be on watch for the iPod Touch, because, whatever the iPhone does, the iPod Touch is bound to do.  Except for the calling.

Moving away from iPhones, we shall now talk about a big thing in Apps.  Apple said that they will now be allowing in-app purchases.   Basically, it allows developers to charge you money for clothes in a game (Sims 3) or extra levels.  This can be a way for apps to go down, but in the long run, the full app may end up costing more.

Okay.  We are officially done with the iPhones.

Macbooks:  Apple said that the 13 inch aluminium MacBook goes Pro.  That leaves us with only one MacBook.  The polycarbonate white Macbook.  Also, the MacBook  Pros are getting SD card slots!  Yay!  Still, admist all this MacBook news, Apple still did not announce anything about a possible MacBook Netbook.  I personally think that would be cool, but if they don’t…  Oh well.  Maybe next year!

Also, Snow Leopard was released!  Basically, this is kind of like Leopard, only faster.  And of course, a different name.  I like calling it Snow Kitty!

Although, the person leading the confernece (I forgot his name), started bashing Windows 7, calling it “Just another Vista”.  Nobody messes with my Windows 7! I just want to go over to that person and slap him silly!  Seriously, people can’t get through a conference without bashing another company.  Such is the corporate world.  But, isn’t Snow Kitty essentially another Leopard?   Back at you Apple!

Anyways!  I hope I got you caught up with what’s happining over in the big, white shiny building!  (Aka, Apple)

Source: CNET

Okay, today I shall talk about the most suggestive name (although it is very appropriate for the product) of a product.

That product:  Cap Sac.

Yes, I know.  This thing provides a lot of suggestive things.   Sac cap, sac cap, sac cap.  What does it do?  Quite frankly, this Cap Sac  is actually a fanny pack for your head!  Seriously.  A fanny pack for your head.  It even has a cute little zipper on the front and it even looks like a hat.  A little wrongly proportioned cap,  nevertheless.  But what if you have something really lumpy?  It would look like you have bulges coming out of your head, and people would possibly come up with the conclusion that you either have a really messed up head or you’re a mutant alien from space.  Of course, an alien wearing a Cap-Sac, albeit.  Now that I think about it, I kind of want one!

Here are some pictures of people with their very own Cap-Sacs.  All pictures are directly from the Cap-Sac website.  www.cap-sac.com

He's probably drunk.

“]

Cap-Sacs can also be very slippery. =[

Cap-Sac singing!

Dogs like Cap-Sacs too!

They're cool. =d

1.  The Ender Quartet (Noted for exceptional ethical value)–Yes I know, this isn’t really a book, more a series.  The first book in the series showed corruption in government and manipulation of children, although I didn’t think it was as meaningful as the other three.  The other three books, Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, and Children of the Mind focused on the acceptance of other things, be they strange and alien, we can still live and coopertate with people.  I thought this was good even in relating with other people and posed a strong point for being the best books I’ve ever read.

2.  Jurassic Park (Both of the books)–’Cmon, what could be better than dinosaurs eating people?  These books had lots of action sequnces and showed mental images of dinosaurs gobbling up people.  Some of the things are biologically incorrect, but who cares?  Also, I thought these books showed reasons why nature should not be tampered with.

3.  Uglies (The series)–Yes, I know, a lot of you dislike this series, but I thought it showed why beauty really comes with a price.  It also, unlike Twilight, focused on how people’s personalities were a stronger, better attribut than beauty.  In the fourth book, Extras, the book posed a stance on fame and how it relates and controls all of our culture, specifically the media!

Well, I just added some books to your summer reading list!  Go read some great Science Fiction!!

–Seth

Anyways….most of this post shall be me making fun of the names.  And a little comparison at the end.

The search engine Bing originally was named Kumo.  That makes me think of a fat, sumo wrestler beating up on some Asian girl.  That girl is possibly wearing Hello Kitty boots, while drinking some very spicy Hello Kitty beer.  =d  I kind of imagine that guy trying to talk smooth, but just isn’t getting the point across.   That’s kind of what Kumo was.

Now, it was dubbed “Bing”.  Don’t even get me started on this name.  First of all, a bing is a type of cherry.  Honestly, wouldn’t you want to ask a cherry for information, because, you know, cherries are super smart and know everything Google doesn’t.  Also, as BOL on CNET pointed out, the past tense of “Bing” is “Bong”.   Just think, “I got Bonged last night”  or “I Bonged myself last night” or even “She and I Bonged eachother last night”.  You get the picture.  Either “Bonged” sounds like you’re getting banged, which we don’t want to hear about, or it sounds like you’re smoking dope through a super big bong.  Also which we don’t want to hear about.  Of course, you could be “Binged”  but that sounds like an action verb, partically one that implies that you’ve been stuck in a toaster and when you pop out “Bing!”.  Or again, if you have a really bad accent, it could, again, be mistaken for being banged.  Seriously, people really want to hear about how hard you bing yourself every day.  Not a pretty picture.  Also, I can just see Kumo bonging that Asian woman.  =[]

Other than the name, Bing is essentially to be another Google-ish search engine.  Microsoft did accquire a symantic company, which could mean Bing is something like a Google and Wolfram|Alpha child.  It’s probably a mutant.  Also, I may run a test on the engine later.  Stay tuned!

Go get Bonged!

Anyways….on to the news.

Microsoft just announced (confirmed the rumors) that the ZuneHD will be coming out in the fall.  Hopefully, even with the little information we know, we can hope it can be a phenomenal device that will competer aggressively with the iPod Touch.   Here are some of the specs with a little dialogue by me on each of them.

–HD Radio-Yes, I know, HD radio is one of the Zune HD’s big point.  But I, preferably, would rather pick my own music.

–OLED Touch Screen-OLED is a brighter and more energy conserving screen, not to mention it being thinner.  And the Zune HD has a touchscreen (Duh)

–Wi-Fi-I know, every mobile device has WiFi now.  But, unfortunately, the Zune HD will be running IE specialized for the Zune.  I sure do hope they’ll integrate the WinMo app store with the Zune HD.  Then I can run other browsers!!!!

–HD Video Playback–The Zune HD will be able to playback HD video (720p) on HD TVs, with of course, the optional dock.

What it doesn’t have (Or what I want it to hopefully have!.  PLEASE Microsoft!!)

–No App Store.  I’m sure we’ll hear more about the features of the Zune HD at E3, but to be a worthy competitor with the iPod Touch, it will have to have an app store.  The whole reason people buy iPod Touches is becasue of the App Store.  Maybe they could integrate XNA Xbox content, which already has a huge user base, it’s just the question of porting the games to the Zune HD.  Also, because the Zune HD is essentially a Windows Mobile device, maybe they could port the WinMo app store to the Zune.  Which means a different web browser for me!! =D  That’s my only complaint.

It's beautiful!!!!!!!

(Warning:  May contain some material not suitable for IE users.)

It all started the day I got broadband.  I was so excited, it was like the whole world was opened up anew with things like Google (Already used it but….), and the wonderful, all-knowing YouTube.  I was so happy.  I felt free.   But alas, I was using the horrible Internet Explorer.  The Count IE had deviously slowed down my browsing experience!  I felt enraged, but being the technological ignorant I was 4 years ago, I had no idea about any other browsers.

So, I continued to succumb to the torture and malice of slow web browsing brought upon me by the horrible Count IE.   I still had no idea that there were other ways out of the horrible dungeon.   I struggled and struggled, but to my little avail, I could not get out.

I was stuck with the Count for 2 years.  Being mutilated by the slow web browsing that was imposed upon myselft, I decided to finally get a way out.  I converted to the all-knowing, speeding religion of the Mozilla Firefox.   Again, I felt the same euphoria I felt when first discovering broadband internet, only this time, the joy of fast internet browsing and the ever so glorious add-ons.

I enjoyed reveling in the new religion of the Mozilla Firefox.  I loved getting new add-ons to customize my adventures on the web just the way I liked it.  I even converted some of my family members to follow the religion, and my brother and sister were also overjoyed with ecstasy of the new, fast browsing experience.

Even though I was a loyal follower of the Firefox, I yearned for more.  I dabbled in other religions, such as the Safari and the Opera, but neither seemed to give me the same excitement and joy of internet browsing as the Firefox could.  I decided to become a experimental test subject of the new Google Chrome, but I found out that it just did not meet my needs.

After two years lived happily in the temples of Mozilla Firefox, I decided to take a time-warp into the future and try out Google Chrome.  I found that it did what the Firefox could never do to me, bringing me a level of elightenment and excitement, at the joyous giving of a new, faster web browser.   I almost had an orgasm of the new excitement of Chrome, only to be raised by the amazing drag and drop tab feature of Chrome.  I almost leaped for joy when I found out that each tab on Chrome had its own, separate process, which allowed faulty pages to be independent of good ones, not slowing the browser down.   I was so happy.  I still am.  Being on Facebook while playing Nitrome games has just edified and made me comprehend the gloriousness of Chrome.

That was my epic web browser story!  And its true!  Chrome rules!!

With Love From Nebraska,

Seth

The Palm Pre:

The Palm Pre is the long awaited (mostly postponed) edition of Palm’s smartphones.  It is set to realease June 2, we hope, as Palm has a notorious reputation for postponing its products due to technological problems.  Still, you have to love Palm for all the effor they’ve put into the Pre, and the Pre could be the last cheer for Palm.  And also for Sprint.  I’m not going to even cover Sprint because this is the “nothing” post.

Apple Netbooks:

I usually don’t talk about much Apple stuff (partly because I don’t like some of the stuff {I’m a MS fanboy}), but today, I shall cover something that was big in the rumor corners a couple of weeks ago.  There’s talk over at Apple about a Apple Netbook.  To put it in simple words, basically a iPod Touch and a MacBook are gonna get “together”  (if you know what I mean ) and make a whole new thing.  Like a hyrbrid.  But in computing.  I’m gonna guess something that looks like a combination of the iPhone OS and OS X.  Maybe the desktop icons could look like the icons on the iPhone OS?  Maybe?

That was my nothing post.  Partly because I’m too lazy to write about anything else, and partly because I haven’t watched any podcasts lately. :O

With love from Nebraska,

Seth